PROBLEMS

Known Issues · Unresolved · Updated: Never

P-001[ BRAIN ]CRITICAL

Chronic Overthinking

Gerald has 47 tabs open at all times. Decision paralysis is at an all-time high. Has considered outsourcing thoughts to a consultant.

P-002[ STOMACH ]HIGH

Stan repeatedly initiates full-scale operations at 2 AM after unauthorized taco intake. Noise complaints filed by all neighboring departments.

P-003[ LIVER ]HIGH

Frank's grudge storage has exceeded recommended capacity by 340%. Refuses to delete old entries. Claims they 'might be needed for evidence.'

P-004[ BLADDER ]MODERATE

Barry continues to leave every meeting 20 minutes early. Has never heard a closing statement. Considers 'urgent' a personality trait.

P-005[ KIDNEYS ]MODERATE

Karen has filed 217 complaints this quarter. Kevin is stress-sweating through the filtration budget. Morale is... filtered.

P-006[ SPINE ]LOW

Steve insists he's "fine" despite visible load-bearing stress fractures. Has declined all maintenance requests. Backbone is questionable.